Painting for Dummies

Unfortunately for me, I am the painting dummy. If anyone else is unfortunate enough to be as bad as me at painting, maybe I can help you. And if not, maybe my painting fail will provide some comic relief.

I'll just get right to it. Here are some tips:

• If you don't have one of those paint tray things (the fact that I call it a "paint tray thing" might be clue #1 that I am not good at painting), don't try painting with a roller
• Similarly, if you think you could substitute a couple paper plates for a paint tray thing, you are wrong - they do not work the same
• If your husband looks at you like you're crazy and says "don't do that" when you suggest using the roller when you have none of the necessary equipment, please please listen
• Even though you might really want to be done with what you're painting, like yesterday, don't paint three sides at once - you might have found a clever way to hold it up while you paint three sides, but how will you let it dry without holding it for hours?
• Don't ask me for advice about paint colors - I'm terrible...and indecisive, a baaaad combination for the task of picking paint
• Think twice before you use the paintbrush you got for free at a garage sale just because it's the easiest to reach...it might not be the preemo quality paintbrush you need
• Do spend time blogging about your failure and looking up potential designs to paint on your failure to try to cover it up instead of cleaning the house since company is coming over tomorrow - oh wait, no, do the opposite of that

If you haven't guessed by now, this painting adventure was pretty much a disaster. But I just realized I didn't take any pictures along the way. How sad for you guys because it was pretty funny. The ill-advised roller side looked a little like a tie dyed shirt (seriously, it was that blotchy). Both sides (streaky from cheap paintbrush and splotchy from roller) look decent now that they've had a second coat.

And if you don't have a painting sheet or tarp to put down, don't worry! Just use a cardboard box that already has a piece cut out to make a pattern for your tshirt quilt and since that won't be big enough, finish it off with a little bubble wrap!

Now to the cover-up job. Stripes, lines going every which way, a bird on a branch, and flowers have all crossed my mind when thinking of how I could minimize how much I dislike the paint color. Did I already mention I bought the paint probably 6 months ago for something else and never used it? What was I thinking with that color?? At the moment I'm thinking two dandelions although I have yet to find a decent picture to copy, if only I knew where my sister-in-law's wedding invitation was (if I even still have it) because I'm pretty sure what I'm thinking of looks a lot like the flower stamped on those.

Time to finish up this post after a good night's sleep : ) I started painting before I even had breakfast this morning and stuck with the flower/dandelion idea. I thought I better give myself some kind of guide while doing the stems so I taped one side.

And this is about the spot where I realized I probably should've taped on both sides because I wasn't getting a very clean line with my free garage sale paintbrush...

Oh well, I pressed on. And taped both sides for the next stem. Much easier! I didn't even have to be careful. Woohoo!

What was I thinking with the other paint color? Oh I don't know...apparently flesh colored paint sounded good at the time. I couldn't find didn't have any blue painters tape so I used masking tape. Probably not a great idea, but I only left it on for 15-20 minutes and it didn't peel any paint off so I'm cool with it. Just don't press it down really hard and if it peels your paint off, please don't hate me for giving you the terrible advice idea.

Now for the flower/dandelion head. Painted a blobish circle then found a small paintbrush (after much searching) to go around the outside. I'm not exactly sure how long this took, but I'm thinking around 30 minutes for both flowers. And then you're done!

After fretting about taping both sides, I actually like the one that I didn't tape on both sides much better. It looks more natural. Oh well, the good news is this is for a shelf above my sewing table and it will be pretty much covered most of the time. Did I even mention what this was for at the beginning? Oops, guess I was too carried away trying to share my vast painting knowledge with you all. Hah! So hopefully my semi-disaster will help you avoid the same mistakes. And hopefully my sewing box will cover up a large portion of this "artwork."